


Stardust

by Roman (Ghoul1gan)



Series: For Your ENTERTAINMENT [3]
Category: Bandom, Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Friendship, Hugs, Possibly Unrequited Love, Potentially triggering, Unresolved Romantic Tension, naps, the anxiety is a bit detailed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22671067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghoul1gan/pseuds/Roman
Summary: Awsten and Roman are both fairly touchy people. That's just fact. Which is why Roman's confused as to why Awsten can't seem to stand their cuddle sessions for longer than seconds at a time.It results in tension and a bit of emotional constipation being relieved.
Relationships: Awsten Knight/Original Character(s), Awsten Knight/Original Female Character(s)
Series: For Your ENTERTAINMENT [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1627567
Kudos: 5





	Stardust

**Author's Note:**

> Another scene I just randomly thought up for this weird world I have building. I know this is a really emotionally immature portrayal of Awsten, and I apologize for it, it's more of a venting of my own emotional issues.
> 
> And yes, I know I write disappointingly short works. I'm working on it, sorry.

“Dude, come on. Just sit still for a moment.” Roman mumbled, lifting her arms off of Awsten’s shoulders. He couldn’t seem to be comfortable just sitting down and being held. It felt weird. It wasn’t that he wasn’t okay with being around Roman. And he really liked the touching part, more than a friend should. But here he was, squirming around on top of her as she tried to relax on the couch.

“Awsten. Come on.” She gave a defeated sigh when he didn’t reply, nor did he stop. Her uncovered arms shot up and shoved him off of the couch. “If you’re just gonna stab me with your damn bony elbows, you don’t get the cushions!”

Awsten let out a little _oof_. The disappointment bubbling in his chest felt overwhelming. Frustration at himself, at the fact that he wasn’t comfortable. He wasn’t okay with just laying there and relaxing. He couldn’t.

“Awzzy? Are you okay?” Roman sat up and leaned forward, trying to gain his attention or meet his eyes somehow. He looked glassy eyed and catatonic.

Awsten could hear the fear mounting in her voice and he manage to scrounge up the strength to look at her, his lower lip trembling. “I-...”, he sighed and clenched his hands in his red hair. “I don’t think I am. I don’t know what’s wrong, why I can’t just sit still. Why I can’t just be normal and relax, why I can’t just tell you things. I don’t know why. I’m scared.” he tugged his hair, rapidly moving his fingers through the strands and tangling it. “I’m just so scared, and I can’t seem to keep myself from crumbling, and you’re so stable? I don’t understand.” He felt a hiccup trying to force itself up his throat and he clenched down on it. 

Roman slid to the floor so she was sitting in front of him. “Awsten. Awzzy, breath.” she reached out with her arms again, her scarred to shit arms, and touched Awsten. It felt like searing disgust lanced across his skin. Bright orange and sick. Awsten flinched, and Roman quickly retracted. 

“Awsten, I don’t know what to do. What’s happening?”

The red-head’s eyes widened and he let out a screech, “How the fuck am I supposed to know?” All Awsten could feel was frustration and shame. He was going to scare Roman away at this rate. She’d call some doctor and get him pulled into an institute. He had a fucking career, friends, he shouldn’t have this problem. 

Awsten broke, letting out a hysterical laugh, “I just feel like everything’s drifting in different directions at once. Like I’m just fading cause I can’t see me anymore. I’m just slipping through the seams, and occasionally I float back in for a few minutes. Good god. This is something duct-tape can’t fix.”

Roman couldn’t help it, she chuckled at his little stab at humor and she opened her arms again. “It sounds like you need to be held together. You’ve just… you’ve just got to trust me for a moment, okay? C’mere.”

Awsten nodded, crawling into her arms and lap on shaky hands and knees. “Alright, but if I feel a probe, I’m out.”

He settled into the crook of her arms as she wrapped them around his body. It was like being groped by a starfish. But a warm and friendly starfish with rough yet super smooth arms. Awsten shook his head to clear it, trying to disguise it as some casual hair flipping.

Roman propped up her legs, cradling the man in her lap and her chest. Much like someone might hold an upset child. And if Roman was being honest, she felt like her friend was a bit of a child when it came to reigning in his emotions. He had a tendency to feel them to their fullest extent and wear it on his sleeve. It wasn’t healthy, but Roman supposed it was better than him bottling it up and blowing up on strangers.

“Here, now just breath. I’ll keep you together. No space dust tonight, I want human Awsten by me.” she murmured into his hair. 

Awsten shuddered as her warm breath passed over his hair. It felt electrifying, and it still felt wrong, but that was quickly dwindling as Roman continued to hold him. Maybe it was his own self-hatred he had been feeling before. He sighed softly and tried to still his wandering thoughts. Maybe if they’d wander in greener pastures, he wouldn’t feel so quick to usher the tendrils of his mind away.

Roman’s breathing seemed to get louder, in… and out. Just a rhythmic and steady rise and fall. If he let his mind wander a bit more, he could feel her heartbeat subtly through her skin. Her arms wrapped around him, her chest under him. He could feel himself become more aware of _her_.

Not her body, but her presence, and how she seemed to swim in the air around him and create a barrier. It was such a strong relief he almost felt like crying. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and reached out for her shirt with his hand, clenching the fabric in an unsteady fist. He felt like a child, like he couldn’t handle simple things like being told no. He took a shaky breath and tried to keep himself from following that obvious bait he had laid for himself.

“Roman.”

“What’s up?” she murmured in response, her hand starting to rub his back as her cheek settled on the top of his head.

“Thank you.” his eyes remained closed, but a tear managed to steal its way out of his eyelids, tumbling onto Roman’s shirt. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Well I sure hoped so. I love you too, Awzzy.” she pressed a kiss to the top of Awsten’s head.

He felt a happy warm glow bloom from his chest. It felt like yellow. A soft pale yellow he reserved for soft things that made him feel vulnerable. He let himself believe that she was admitting that she was romantically inclined, it was the only way to keep the yellow glow untainted for now. Awsten wasn’t dumb enough to believe it were true, but he didn’t need to think about that right now.

He gave a happy hum and felt himself slow down. Like the source of the whirring in his head had been sedated. It felt silly… everything he had grown up with, been told… everything he believed told him that this was going to hurt. And maybe somewhere he already knew that it would. It didn’t have to end in hurt, but something about this would sting.

Roman shifted under him, adjusting him so he was pressing his face into the crook of her neck. 

Awsten was cool with that. At this point he wasn’t sure what was going on, but he felt like he was falling asleep on a warm water bed. Saying it like that felt gross, but it was a good thing. 

He pressed a delicate kiss to Roman’s shoulder before he let himself slip into the warm river Roman had been spinning around him. It didn’t feel like giving in or giving up this time. It felt like acceptance.

= = = = =

Roman didn’t know how, or if she should respond to what was obviously a few soft kisses trailing up her neck. But just as soon as it started, it stopped. Awsten let out a pleased hum, and he felt like the largest, boniest cat to ever sit in anyone’s lap.

She grimaced as his body completely settled. She let out a huff and maneuvered a couch cushion to support her strained back and hips. Fuck, if this man-child was going to take a nap, so would Roman.


End file.
